Email marketing

Looks like I bought an email marketing package for $275, but it turns out the software is old and doesn't seem to load at all in Windows 7 except for one. The other software has problems with memory when I tried to load an email list larger than 1 million. This is much harder than I thought and feel like I can never send what is intended. On top of that, it feels like I'm spamming messages which isn't good at all. I sign a contract stating I would do this or else the contract is nulled (can't get my money back). Buying lots of things will cost more than $500 with bulk email sending software, SMTP server, Linux VPS, and proxies.